The Meeting: A New Journey Begins

Friday:

The drive was easy.

It seemed like it took only one or two hours and not the regular four. As we crossed over the Hoover Dam on this new route we could see no water.  This route shortchanged me. I wanted to point to the water below so that my grandson could see what I had seen on so many trips to Nevada in the past. I wanted to hear him say those oooh's and aww's at his first time view.

Oh well, no matter because I had other things on my mind.

We were headed to Vegas. The next day we will venture to Henderson Nevada where we will meet my daughter’s aunt and her children’s great-aunt they had never met before.

I later learned that two uncles would be driving from California, which heightened the excitement.  

Of course I know that the children would have loved for their father and grandfather to have been in on the meeting but fate is fate and we make the best of what we have.

The check in at the hotel was not left up to me but the walk from the parking area to the hotel was. Sheesh, my legs thought it would never make it. The only place to park was in the back of the hotel and the rooms were in the front.

Finally after I reached the elevator and rode up to the 19^th floor, the arrow pointing to the rooms looked like it reached back to Arizona.

Huffing and puffing, we made it to the room, put the bags away and Tyler said, “let’s go eat” !

I made the mistake of not asking them to bring me a doggie bag back, so down the hallway and elevator I went.

I just love my kids, they are in such good shape and waited for me as I trudged along. I could see in their faces how happy they were. LOL

Saturday:

We arrived at the house, rang the doorbell and waited for the door to open. We rang the doorbell again and no answer.

We decided to go back and sit in the car.

My daughter called her new found cousin Tanya on the phone. The message came on and said the mailbox was full.   I think the next thing was to text which she did.  No answer.

  

Were we at the right home? We checked the address again, and even tried calling again. I asked my daughter if she may have gotten the address wrong. She checked her messages and re-read the address that Tanya her cousin had sent to her.

  

And then suddenly two cars turned the corner, drove up to the house and parked!

My daughter’s Aunt Sherian kept looking as she drove up and a huge grin spread across her face. She parked, and got out of the car and started giving the best hugs. 

                                                                                                                                                                    

They all looked like Al, but boy that one brother Kenneth looked like they could have been twins.  

David, the other brother was the most talkative one. 

All he asked we tried to answer, and all we asked they tried to remember the answers; 

We needed to put into respective the road that we travelled to get here.

It was a lot to soak in but then again it was not enough time. I think we did well with what we knew.

All the rest can be learned in time if it is for us.

I instantly fell in love with them.

There is one more sister we have to meet and that’s Leslie.

There were so many similarities in the lives we had been living it is almost scary.

First off, Tanya the cousin previously lived in the same city we live in and worked at the same beauty shop where we get our hair styled;

I used to live a couple blocks away in Los Angeles from where they lived;

Sherilyn worked for the FAA briefly and so did Al;

Al was a golfing junkie and David also had that passion;

The great Aunt Mary lives in Oklahoma City and not that far from where we were for Al’s home-going service;

The other great Aunt Novella lives in the same city as my brother Bruce;

It just so happens that she was the one whose name I was obsessed with because I had never heard it before.

We looked through pictures and pictures. We now know what Al’s parents and grands look like.

Lee Edward Holmes aka Roland Lee Holmes (Father ) Creek Co Okla.

                  Charles Smith   (Grandfather ) Texas 

Laura Mae Smith Holmes (mother)Robertson County Texas

Lillie Bell Simmons Holmes (g-mother) Creek County Okla. 

Mary Smith Benson (gg-grmother) her Father John Smith(ggg-gr father)

We also have new names to add to the family tree. Names like Holmes, Smith, Benson, Johnson, Simmons, Figures, Moody and Lawrence.

Sunday:

We met for Brunch, and had another wonderful time eating a great mean and watching the football game.  David's wife Margo was there along with Sherians hubby Hal. There was this guy who talked with us about football and laughed at me when I said Go Cardinals!  What can I say, loyalty is one of my best virtues. 

The cousins at Brunch getting their eats on and styling.

  

After eating, I stayed awhile in the lounge where there were rows and rows of bandits minus one arm. Now they are sporting buttons that give you the option of choosing the one you want.  My choices were not the bandits choice I might add.

Grateful: Two cousins

Tanya and Tish you two made it happen.

I loved both of your smiles and heartfelt feelings. Stay strong and stay in touch with each other. This was an amazing story within itself and remember, we all are bound to have another story worth remembering and telling. Life is like that.

You know, there is something special in people when you can talk with ease and it seems like you have known each other for years and years instead of one or two days.

I would like to think that if I had not played a part in this journey and the clock was turned back, I would have bumped into these same people and struck up a relationship that would have lasted a lifetime. 

That is the affect that they had on me.

Letter To Mitch In Heaven: Promise Kept

Dear AL

The journey is complete as promised. 

I swore I would not stop until I found the family you had been looking for.

I was all in for the task because we shared a beautiful girl and two grandchildren. 

The need to know who you were grew stronger later in life for both of us. 

You with the wanting to know your naturals and me wanting our children to know who they were and where they came from.

As you know we talked many times about finding your natural parents, brothers and or sisters if they were still alive.

Did they look like you and you like them. What would you say to them, and vice versa? 

By now I believe that you have seen your mother and father in Heaven and that there were plenty of hugs. 

No reasons for questions and answers in Heaven just good old fashion joy and praise.

Just in case in their excitement to embrace you, they may have forgotten to mention that you have two brothers, two sisters, and two aunts down here.

Two of your siblings and one aunt live in California, one sibling lives in Nevada and then one aunt lives in Oklahoma City.

All praises go to God Almighty because He was instrumental in you listening to me and took the DNA Autosomal test offered by 23&Me.

Thank you so much for letting me manage your kit. 

I especially want to thank you for downloading to Gedmatch. 

That's the service where you were able to pick up other testers who used Ancestry and from those who used FamilyTree DNA.

Wow, was I surprised when a match came up that revealed you had two matches. One was a 1st cousin male and the other one was just as close and also a male. They had to be a father and son or durn near close to it. Right under them was your daughter and both grandchildren.  I almost fell out of my chair! 

I could not wait to send an email to the gentleman who tested through Ancestry.

After a few questions, we realized that his mother and your mother are SISTERS!

I could just hug the 1^st cousin tester because he was the soul who was sent to start the happiness to rolling. 
His name is Richard Ivey, son of Mary Smith Ivey.

He then set it up for my daughter and me to chat with his mom.  We were all overwhelmed and happy and talked for a good twenty minutes. 

It was especially crushing to know that they lived in the same city for years as you.

We were also in Oklahoma City for the home-going service.  So close yet so far

My thoughts were of you as your aunt and I talked.

She gave me some new names that are leafs to your family tree.
Names like Benson, lawrence, Figures and a few others.

I also need to give a shout out to a dear friend by the name of Jeannine who guided me with the Benson clue over two years ago but I could not make that connection.  

Also another shout out goes to Willie A Heard for taking me visually through many youthful trips he and Al had during their childhood and beyond. For that I am eternally grateful.

I am over the moon with excitement.

I started this journey with you in late 1991 or early 1992.

A friend that I worked with named Carrie Moos asked if I wanted to go to the LDS Research Center with her in hopes we could gain some headway in both of our searches.

Remember when I sent you that 1930 census with your parent Lee Edward Holmes in Bristow Oklahoma with his parents William and Lilliebelle mentioned. Also listed were sons William and Dorris and a daughter Novella. 

I found nothing for Laura Mae Smith and mumbled to myself that I would come back to the Center again.

That was the day I was forever hooked.

In my heart I knew that this was not going to be a piece of cake but I also knew that I could unselfishly help others along the way when I got to a brick wall with my research.

So now after all these years we are here at this junction

I wish you could have still been here to express your joy but other plans had already been made.

I know you had questions and sometimes life sends us in other directions.

I feel that the direction you were sent to hear those answers, were passed on to me through that fork in the road we came to in life’s journey.  

I talked to your sister and I have a feeling we will get along great. She lives in Henderson right outside of Vegas and that may be an indication that I may be up for a drive every now and then.

My prayer is that my daughter, her kids and her other siblings will be able to meet all their family.

I know you loved the game of golf, and from what my Uncle Prof aka WC Daviss in Altus Oklahoma told me is that he was your teacher and you were a good student on the green.

In this case I would say that you got a Bogey on this one. 

Your family has been found!

Or should I have said that it is par for the course because we got it like that.

Bittersweet:

It’s been a long time coming as I count the years of search

Always wondering what it may be worth

The countless looking through records

Talking on the phone

Hearing faceless people with promises

Kept Secrets that could have been shared

Instead a cry of not knowing was carried to a grave

Sadly

Let the truth be known for it was silence

That hurt the most

Pain you did not bear

Messing up more than one person’s thought and perception

Mind-less

Unfair

And it did not have to be that way

Healing could have come early

Like the shutters on a window

When open

The light comes shining through

Fewer tears

Wasted years

I have said it before and then again

It’s in the blood baby, as simple as that

Made from the foundation

An XX and a XY found

DNA

I see you in faces now three boys and one girl

Paternal and maternal you should have known

Not your fault, not too late

Fate

Maybe now up there on the other side of heaven’s door

Answers

Down here those that are left hug

Tight

With all their might, try and make up

What should have been

Then

Rest In Perfect Peace Alford for you are surrounded by many who love you. The parents who raised you, the ones now found: And, as an added bonus, those of us who are left here on earth loved you immensely then and we love you still. 

 P. S. Ok Now I can stop the crying.

Aunt Ponnie And Me; Altus Okla Made Three

When I was a kid I used to listen to the poem starting with T'was The Night Before Christmas And All Through The House

Well let me tell you this was not the night before Christmas!!!!!

It was March and the night before the big Western dance at the Wm H Patterson Elks Lodge and I just got stood up!


Thinking fast, should I pick up the telephone and call or should I forget it.

I wanted to clear out my mind. No need in saying any bad words because that would make me more angry. I had never ever been stood up before.

The worse thing that I could remember happening to me was when that little boy who lived three doors down from us at the Lackland Air Force Base asked me to be his girlfriend. The next day after I said ok, he took my umbrella and broke it. I think he also quit me but I was so busy crying about my broken umbrella that I did not hear him.



The first thing would be is to stop looking at the clock. It seemed like all I heard was tic, tic tic, tic tic tic. Then, I need to get away from that dog-gone window. No reason to keep looking, Its not going to change anything one bit.Tic, tic, tic,tic, tic tic tic.



(I don't know what sound is worse the constant ticking or the buzzing of a fly that circles and circles all around your ear.)


My Aunt Ponnie used to say all the time,''Honey, haven't you heard that a watch pot never boils" I could hear her saying that now as I backed away from the window. I suddenly realized that my date was no longer important. That the realization should be on a person who had more of an impact on my life and that was Aunt Ponnie.

Although our time together was short, it was very meaningful to me. She kept me from being lonely when I missed my family back home, and she loved me as if I were her own.



Pauline was born November 30th 1899 to Joe and Nancy Cryor Mitchell in Hempstead County Arkansas. She grew up with two brothers Floyd and Wardell.

Here are two census records that reflect her and her family.

The first is a 1900 Census in Saline County Arkansas


The View:


Here is the 1910 census that depicts the brothers Floyd and Wardell Mitchell



The View:



Somewhere along the way Wardell ended up in Kansas City Kansas/Missouri area and Pauline and Floyd ended up in Altus Oklahoma. That's where I met her.



We spent hours and hours talking and laughing. Everyone called her Aunt Ponnie.
One thing about Aunt Ponnie was that she sure spoke her mind and 99.9 percent of the time it was the truth. She had her hands full with her grandson's Lawrence and Melvin who were just coming into their teens. Melvin was the outgoing one and Lawrence was more reserved.

I had driven down from Phoenix one year and stayed with them for about a month. I was on my way to Dallas but took a different route so that I could see them and also my Uncle Wright Cuney "Prof" Davis.

Every morning for about two weeks after getting up, I would go outside. The first thing that I saw was my car. It had been egged!


I was so upset. Number one because my car was egged and number two the paint on my car was being ruined. The boys Melvin and Lawrence and I tried to be look-outs for the culprits but to no avail.

Leave it to Aunt Ponnie, she found a way.

One night when everyone went to bed Aunt Ponnie got up, went to the refrigerator, took out all the eggs and carefully numbered them. She placed them back in the container upside down.


Well lo and behold the next morning, my car was egged. She called me and the boys in the living-room and told Melvin to get the eggs out of the refrigerator, and one by one read off the numbers. One number was missing.

Melvin confessed, saying that he was just playing pranks on me. All I could say was he had better be glad that he was not my child at that moment.

I think Melvin could not go out and play for about two days because he was put on punishment.
I asked Aunt Ponnie how she knew that it was Melvin. Well she said, " When it was lawrence's time to be the look-out, the next morning, no eggs!! When it was Melvin's turn, eggs !! That told me that one plus one equals two, so I got out the crayon."

Aunt Ponnie had a house with about four bedrooms. She rented out two of the rooms. One was to a soldier who was stationed at Altus Air Force base. His job on the base was a cook. So when he bought different things home from the base it was a welcome relief to Aunt Ponnie. There were big bags of flour and sugar, all kinds of fruits and veggies, spices and sweets.

One day I went over to her house and Aunt Ponnie was not really feeling that good. She was sitting on the couch and was a little out of breath. That did not stop her from puffing on those Pall Malls though. She asked me if I could finish cooking for her because her roomers would be home soon and that meals was a part of her contract with them.

Aunt Ponnie told me to look up under the cabinet and take out that big can of parsley that her roomer had bought home from the base and sprinkle some on the meat she was going to prepare.

I did so and opened the lid. Man oh man was I in for a shock. All I could smell was weed. That can was filled to the rim.

I was not a smoker of weed but being from the city I came from, I knew the smell.

I did not say a word to Aunt Ponnie. If I would have told her what she was unknowingly harboring I am sure her 65 years at that time would have been cut short by a heart attack.

Instead when the roomer soldier came home, I told him what I had found. He moved the next day. I think he may have told Aunt Ponnie that he was getting shipped out and had to leave for another assignment.

I learned several years later that he had been booted out of the service.

I moved back to Phoenix and called or wrote to Aunt Ponnie every chance I got.

One time she called me crying up a storm. She told me that someone was coming to take her refrigerator away and that she had to go to court. She begged me to come and go to the courthouse with her. Distraught, she said that she had no one else to go with her. Hating to hear that, I took time off my job, caught the bus and went back to Altus.

That following Monday we went down to the courthouse where we met with this lawyer who was in charge of her case. When he told me how much money her court case was over, I was too through. She was threatened with not only the loss of her refrigerator, but the threat that she could have her house taken away if she did not pay up.

They gave her a week or else.

She was in to them for a lousy eleven dollars. They had intimidated her with calls and threats that to her the eleven dollars seemed like eleven hundred dollars. I asked the lawyer what the total pay off was. With a smirk on his face, he told me thirty dollars which I promptly paid.

I asked him for a paid in full receipt and we left.

I know that Aunt Ponnie was relieved but she sure did try hard to get me to move back to Altus. God I loved that woman, but to live back there again, I just couldn't. Aunt Ponnie left this earth in 1979.......I drove down again for her home going celebration.

Rest In Peace Aunt Ponnie, Rest In Peace.